Slipped Away
by Latent Lullaby
Summary: Kagome has to put Buyo to sleep and tries to deal with it as best she can, with or without Inuyasha's help. INUKAG For anyone who has ever lost a pet.
1. Chapter 1

Slipped Away

Ch1/one-shot

By Zeldagurl

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of the songs I may mention.

Authors note:

First, I'd like to dedicate this fiction to everyone who has lost a pet, no matter how small or how big they were. No matter the circumstances. The feelings remain the same. I thought I knew what death was, and now I stand in the wake of it, and I finally understand it like everyone else who has experienced it. Pets are a huge part of our lives, and we will never forget them.

And I also want to dedicate this fiction to my Katze (Caatza). You were the best friend I could ever have asked for, and now without you, I don't know where I am anywhere. I hope with all of my soul and all of myself, that you've gone someplace peaceful and happy. And that you can forgive me for what I let happen... You were everything to me, and I miss you.

This fiction is the story of me and my cat, told in the perspective of Kagome. All of these feelings have been felt, and all of these things have happened. It will still be Inuyasha and Kagome primed, but it's more centered on Buyo and Kagome.

This is not being written for reviews, and although I love reading your opinions; this is really to try and get out my feelings of losing my cat. I hope you'll still read and review like you've always done. Thank you

(Begin)

I remember my Buyo as clearly as I remember how much I loved him. It was a love that is more than I could ever explain. It wasn't consuming, it wasn't jealous, and it wasn't painful. It was indescribable and so simply basic that I can only explain by telling you what sort of relationship we had.

I'd lie in bed, trying to sleep for school the next day; and I'd feel his weight settle on the soft pillow that my head lay on. I'd hear him purr, and feel him try to get under my blanket because it was his favorite thing to do. He loved lying underneath the blanket with me, purring beneath my fingers, rolling around under there while I was trying to go back to sleep.

I'd always stay up an hour later because of him, but I really didn't mind...

I'd eventually have to kick him out when I really wanted to go sleep, and he'd sleep somewhere close, still purring. I'd smile as he would look at me before closing his eyes for the night. I loved him then.

Sometimes, I'd pick him up from where he'd been watching me, holding him close to me and burying my nose in his soft fur. He would let me cuddle him close before he had had enough, and would leap from my hold to eat or something.

But still, He looked me in the eyes like no other cat I've known. Like he knew my secrets, like he understood me more than I understood myself. It was only natural that I trusted him. I trusted him to be with me when I was in all sorts of moods, and I loved him for being there with me.

Whenever I would pet him, he always responded with his whole body. Rubbing his head against my hand as it passed his head, or raising his rump as I passed over that as well.

He'd come running as soon as I would reach out my hand... He and I had a rhythm that flowed between us, like an unspoken song. I'd pet him, scratch behind his ears, feel him purr. He would just always be there for me; loving me unconditionally even when Inuyasha would not.

He was such a wonderful cat. Such a beautiful little thing...

When I'd cry about Inuyasha, he would come to me and meow in my face, probably wondering why I was so upset. He lay in my lap until I stopped sobbing. He would sleep right next to me when I cried myself to sleep. So when I think back to those times, I guess I can never say that I was all alone, because in truth I wasn't...

Plus, it's not to be ignored that he put up with Inuyasha at the best of times. I shudder when I think back to the things Inuyasha did to him.

I placed the picture back on the dresser table among the crumpled tissues. I lay back in bed, pulling the covers up and wiping my tears away; hiding from the reminders around my room by facing the wall.

I sighed and let my mind drift away from me; and, of course, it goes to him. I close my eyes and see the vet's office.

I open them again before I can relive a nightmare that's been haunting me for days.

I didn't want to think about the emptiness I'm facing tomorrow, and the day after that. That emptiness hurt me more than any physical pain I've ever felt. I want to stop thinking about him and I want to stop crying. But it doesn't seem right to try and forget about him; I don't even know why it occurred to me to try. I didn't think I'd even ever be able to forget... I probably shouldn't have been too worried...

He was a cat, yes; he was an animal who was with me for a short time compared to the length of a human lifetime. That seemed to be the more factual, grey side of things that presented themselves in my mind. Things die all the time. It's not like he could have lived much longer after we put him down. In all fairness, it was more of a comfort that we put him down without pain.

But then, there was the part of everything that made me remember him being there, looking at me with those loving eyes and making me love him more than I thought possible. There was the part of me that missed him so completely; the part of me that couldn't breathe in this cloud of grief and pain that surrounded me.

Where was he? Where did pets go when they've died? Where did we send him that day? Was he still with me? Or is he so far away? Could he really have been gone so quickly, so completely?

Would he really not be there when I get up to go to the kitchen? Will he not be there waiting at my door? Will he really not be there?

These questions and more plagued me, and wouldn't let me rest my tired mind. And of course it wasn't just questions that blocked out any ray of light or hope in my heart.

One moment he had been alive in my arms, and the next, he was dead on the table. How I be expected to deal with a thought like that in my head? How can I justify letting that happen? How could I not blame myself? I could have stopped it... Some way... Somehow...

The thought that I've been thinking since he left pops into my mind, making me face harsh truth once again.

What have I done?

I snuggled deeper into my soft coverlet, staring at the brown writing desk sitting in front of me. Looking without comprehending; I couldn't take the pain. It was so hard to think about him, it was so hard to try and understand what happened.

But you can't choose your dreams, no matter how much they're going to hurt you or even help you.

And dream I do...

(flash)

She stood in the vet's office, hardly believing what she was there to do.

This wasn't really going to happen, was it? It all just seemed surreal and unnatural. It seemed a hallucination; it seemed that she would be able to wake herself up, out of this hellish idea.

The bright white walls mocked her, and the sterile unnatural tools and chemicals gleamed impersonally from the desk across from where she stood. Buyo sat in his cage, meowing and looking around, scratching to get out. Kagome looked down at him and felt her heart lurch as her eyes caught on his. He watched her for a few seconds, and then turned his attention to the door once again.

Why was she doing this?

Her mother sat calmly in the chair by the door, staring determinedly at the floor. She clutched her brown leather purse like it was her own beating heart, gripping it so as not to lose it.

Kagome knew that the people waiting in the vets office had stared at her had wondered why her eyes were red and why she occasionally sobbed. She hadn't really cared. She had wanted to distract herself from thinking about what she had to do.

She thought to treasure each second of life Buyo had left; to remember each look, each touch, everything about him for when she wouldn't have him. Her tears welled up in her eyes and she turned her head away to ward them off.

How could she be standing here, letting it happen? Life wasn't supposed to work this way. Kagome knew that beings have to die, she understood that. But she just didn't want to have to let go of anyone now. She didn't want to do it.

The door shut behind her and she looked back, seeing a nurse and a doctor moving slowly towards the table. Her heart quickened and her eyes widened. All of the sudden her mind began to spiral everywhere, moving at a pace that only let her watch and not react.

The doctor prepared a pinkish looking liquid and loaded it into an injector's chamber, looking at it to make sure he had the right dosage loaded. The nurse opened the cage, looking backwards at the doctor and then to my mother.

"Is this your first time with this procedure?" Her mother nodded, moving to stand closer to the cat and herself, biting her lip as hard as she could without breaking skin. Kagome stared numbly at Buyo, not believing, not understanding, and just seeing. She could do nothing else.

"Alright." The doctor said, finishing his check on the poison and motioning for the nurse to take Buyo out of the cage and position him on his side, with his back legs open.

"This is a large dosage of a narcotic drug; it should take five seconds for it to do its work."

Kagome repeated that number in her mind while looking at her cat desperately; Five seconds? So he would be dead in just five seconds? How could that be? Kagome thought that she would have time to at least say goodbye as Buyo was leaving! Why would it be over in five seconds; Kagome knew that she would need a lot more than that to say goodbye, for her own sanity's sake.

Before she knew it, the doctor had inserted the needle into her cats lower belly, and was about to inject. No! Why wasn't she stopping this?! It was wrong! Why did she have to say goodbye to him?! Why couldn't they just live they had? Why couldn't she have more time? Why?! She couldn't breathe.

Kagome sobbed.

Her mother breathed.

Buyo stared at Kagome.

The doctor pushed forward, and immediately, Buyo turned and lay his head down, closing his eyes slowly, yet almost immediately.

No!

The doctor and the nurse wouldn't move fast enough. She tried to move past them, she tried so hard to get to him.

'I want to say goodbye! Move!'

No matter how fast she moved, no matter how polite she was being, letting them move before as she was taught, he still...

Oh God...

He...

He wasn't... moving anymore. He wasn't breathing... He was gone. It had only been five seconds! Could something really die that quickly? How could he be gone, when she hadn't been touching him; she hadn't been holding him close to her heart.

She imagined things happening so differently before, but she could never have imagined this. His quick death, nor the enormous anchor of pain that dragged her down to the bottom of it all. The realization of what she'd let happen, and the hurt that pounded in her chest like a hammer.

"Buyo! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I love you!" She screamed through her tears, laying her hands on him and choking on her own sobs, her own pain. What had she done?! Why?! He was gone!! And she had let it happen!

Why?!

She hyperventilated, knowing only the site of her cat, lying on the table with no life in his body. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't breathe!

"Buyo..! I'm so sorry!"

Her mom cried beside her, although not nearly loud enough. Even if she was wailing at the top of her lungs, Kagome wouldn't have thought she was sad enough.

Kagome wanted so badly for Buyo to look up and meow at her, to look at her with those eyes and to make her feel happy again. She wanted that so badly. She wanted to feel him purring in her arms again, she wanted to be with him again. She wanted to pet him, but she was so afraid; petting him and feeling him not respond would confirm the nightmare.

'Look up baby kitty! Look up at me please!' She thought, pleading with anything that would listen to restore her cat to her.

"I'm going to wait in the waiting room, okay?" Her mom said, clearing her face of any traces of crying and moving towards the door.

"Come when you're ready." She left as Kagome didn't even respond, still looking down at Buyo's body, lying on the table.

As soon as her mom had left, Kagome leaned back against the wall behind her, making her face level with Buyo's.

"Oh Buyo..." She whispered.

She couldn't breathe, and she couldn't stop crying. Her only attempt at composing any words only ended up narrating her thoughts.

"Buyo. I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I'm so sorry."

She petted him softly, just the way she used to when he would greet her from coming home from school. Rubbing behind his ears and beneath his jaw, just how he used to love it. He would purr, and move as she did it, always coming back after he had passed from her hand.

Kagome knew he was dead, and his lack of response only proved that the nightmare as she had thought it would; this terrible dream was really real...

He didn't move, and he didn't rub his little head against her hand. He lay quietly, still as death. With no expression and no personality; nothing but the stillness that life had left him with.

That was what Kagome couldn't bear.

She pet him one last time and stood by the door, not wanting to see him dead anymore. She looked back every other few seconds, wiping her tears away; but she always turned back to the hallway. Every time she laid eyes on him, a new batch of tears flooded her, made it so incredibly hard to breathe.

She couldn't breathe...

She didn't feel that she deserved to breathe, so it didn't matter.

But still, she couldn't breathe.

(Switch)

And with that, I left. I left him lying dead on a table, in a vet's office. Because of my own weakness, I ran away out of that place. I cried the whole way home.

It was so suffocating; I just couldn't breathe, even if I was far away from the place that he had died. My own memories turned on me and made me blame myself; so I couldn't sleep.

What hurt me the most after I had gotten past his death was that I just left him there. For the first time in my life, I didn't and still don't know where my kitty is. I didn't know if they buried him, or if they burned him into ashes. I didn't know if he was donated to science and dissected in some high school biology class.

I didn't want to think of him being burned to ashes, or cut wide open. I didn't want to think of him lying cold in the ground.

I just wished he was here...

"Kagome...?"

I heard him calling my name. But I didn't want to open my eyes. I didn't feel as though I had the strength to. Maybe if I kept them closed, I would die and forget the pain I felt clenching my heart at the moment. It felt like it would take the strength of the strongest man in the world to make me be able to open them. Because my lack of will to open them was gone, and the strength was replaced with blinding pain.

But then, I've always thought Inuyasha was amazingly strong...

For Inuyasha's sake, I opened my eyes slowly. He crouched in front of my bed with a stony look on his face. I knew though, that he was concerned, seeing as he was much closer to my bed then he usually might be.

Did he know? Or did he smell my tears with those amazing senses of his?

He moved a little closer and penetrated my eyes with his, resting a clawed hand on the bed.

I hated that he had to see me like this. So raw and unkempt; nothing like the Kagome he was used to dealing with every day. I got the feeling as I looked into his eyes that he was maybe just a little afraid of me; Or at least of what I might be feeling.

"Hi Inuyasha." I said softly, blinking and sniffling faintly. I pulled my blanket tighter around me, and swallowed. I was about to dismiss my tears and frazzled state in order to distract him from the truth because I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to see Buyo's little face in my head, and I didn't want to remember him just... Just laying there, dead. Not breathing, no longer with me.

I shook my head. No! I don't want to...

"What's wrong?"

"N-nothing."

I scrambled around in my mind, trying to think of the right words to say. What could I possibly say?

"Don't lie. I know something's wrong." He said bluntly, his eyes boring into mine as I searched for some

way to avoid the whole thing.

He was being stubborn as usual, so I kind of already knew that I couldn't get myself out of it. Once he knew that he didn't know something that I was keeping from him, he always demanded that I tell him. But I didn't want to tell him, that was the point.

I didn't want to cry in front him. Not about this...

"Inuyasha, I-I don't want to talk about it."

I sat up and leaned against the wall, keeping my eyes on anything but him. I could feel my shabbily assembled center crumbling beneath me. My tears filled my eyes; it became so hard to breathe.

I didn't want to cry in front of him. I didn't want to make him see me like this. I wanted to be alone, I wanted to curl up inside of myself, and never come back.

Oh Buyo... I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry

I loved you

Suddenly, I felt something surround me as I began to lose control of myself. I found my head tucked protectively underneath his and my body held within his strong grasp.

"You might as well talk, you know. I'm not going anywhere."

So he wanted to know? He truly would wait for me to be able to tell him everything? How could I push him away now? The truth was kind of obvious, even in my fragile state of mind, I couldn't. I had no choice but to tell him.

I guess sitting in my room alone wouldn't prove to get me out of my pain.

All of this 'trying not to cry' crap felt so frivolous and stupid. I felt so stupid for pushing everyone away. I felt so stupid for not wanting him near me for this, and for wanting to be alone.

"We put Buyo to sleep." I said softly in a broken voice.

"To sleep?" He replied, rubbing my back as I breathed loudly through a sob.

"We gave him a poison so that he would die without pain." It sounded so barbaric, looking at it through Inuyasha's eyes. Thinking of it that way just made it that much worse.

"I see." He pulled me closer and buried his nose in my hair. I knew that he wouldn't be able to understand completely. I couldn't possibly expect him to. But I was glad that he was making an effort. That he was there. I was just a mess of so much emotion...

"I miss him so much."

I hadn't realized how lonely I was without Buyo's familiar presence. I hadn't realized how much I needed him, and how much I would miss him before we put him down. I hadn't realized that he would leave so huge of a void in my life.

"It's hurts so much." I continued.

"I know."

He pulled away and looked down at me; his expression was one of concern.

"I'm sorry that I can't protect you from this kind of stuff. I'm sorry that you have to hurt like this." He said quietly, his eyes finding mine and holding them. He looked so sorry, as though it was his fault.

"I guess everyone has to hurt once in a while." I didn't want him to feel sad over me, he didn't have to be. I

didn't want him to be.

He was silent for a moment, watching me as I watched him. He opened his mouth after a short time and spoke in a strained voice.

"I know. I just... I can't stand knowing that you've been crying, that you're hurt. Because every time I see you like this... I hurt too." He looked away, staring angrily at the bed beneath us.

I smiled slightly at his admission. Even beneath my sorrow for my cat; it still made me feel just a little bit better.

It's so ironic that no one but him can make me feel better like this. I guess it's just one of those ways you know that you belong with someone. Even if fate has a way of distracting that certain someone...

I came back to rest in his embrace, closing my eyes and listening to his beating heart. It beat fast.

It was there with me, alive and strong. He was here with me, being here while my cat was now gone. I was so grateful. I was comforted that I could hear him, that I could feel him here; holding me. In that moment in time, I guess he was kind of like Buyo; comforting me because a part of my love had died and faded away.

"Thank you Inuyasha." I sniffled, and he wrapped his arms around me tightly.

(switch)

Buyo's death was one of the hardest things I've had to experience yet. I loved my cat so much. The little things and the small familiar comforts he used to provide me remind me of him as time passes. I still miss him, and I still cry because he's gone. I will never forget my little buyo.

Time has passed, and it gets easier to breathe, especially with Inuyasha's help. He holds me when I break down, and comforts me, understanding that even the smallest thing can still hurt me. I'm so thankful that he cares.

I'm not okay yet though, and it sometimes seems that I never will be. The empty places that buyo left have yet to be filled in my heart. The story isn't close to being over yet. I still have some road to cover before I'm able to move on.

But I'm getting there.

And for now, that's all I can hope for.

Authors note: It's been at least two weeks since I started this fiction. I think that it's been one of the hardest two weeks of my life. I might have lost some of the focus that fueled this fiction in the beginning, but I still feel that it served its purpose. I'm starting to feel better, and a little less lost.

But the truth is that my cat's death has given me a whole new perspective on life. It's kind of depressing, and I know it's changed me.

I guess the only part of this fiction that isn't true is that Inuyasha is there with Kagome. I unfortunately had to deal with it on my own, so that might be a little dramatic. I have had my friends, who've been understanding and kind. I'm so thankful for them.

And like I said before, this fiction is dedicated to everyone who has lost a pet, or has been forced to let go of one. I know how you feel, and I now can identify how a death really feels. I also dedicate it to my cat, who loved me no matter what I did wrong or right.

I will always love her, and I will always miss her...

p.s I'd also like to thank sleepwalking chicken and HAP for the fiction called Gone. It's a very realistic fiction that deals with the same subject as this one does. Check it out if you're interested. It helps to know that someone else has shared your pain, and has survived it.

Thank you

Song Lyric:

And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall

Pour real life down on me

Cause I can't hold onto to anything this good

Good enough

Am I good enough for you to love me too?

-Evanescence, Good Enough

(By the way, the new Cd is awesome. Just as good as the first and maybe even a little better! I totally suggest you guys check it out.)


	2. Epilogue

Slipped away

Epilogue

By Zeldagurl

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or Kagome or Buyo.

(Begin)

Death is one thing that no living creature has ever been able to conquer.

All of us, every single creature on this earth will die someday. It is a fact that all of us knowingly accept, but we don't really understand until it comes, glaring at us in the face. It doesn't have to be a person, it can be an animal, and any being that has ever taken a part of our love...

Once that being is gone, most of us realize how puny we really are.

We realize the fragility of life, and the lives of the people we know and love.

But also, we realize how lonely life can be without someone, or something.

I sit on my bed, thinking in the quiet of the twig light, gripping the soft cloth of my comforter in my hands as time passes me by. I look up at my dresser,

It's been nine months since we put Buyo to sleep...

It would hardly seem like it to me and it rarely ever does. It feels like it was just a month ago, or just a few weeks ago. The grief is still fresh in my mind, and I can still touch the feelings that I had the day we went in, and I watched him die.

I've slowly healed over the time it's been, struggling with my grief and wanting to forget, and yet not wanting to. It was a long ordeal that now seems to have passed in the blink of an eye. It's so ironic, that the pain that I thought would last forever, now seems so far away and long ago, that I no longer clearly remember how it feels. I think that it began to go away a month after it happened, the fresh, hot, blinding pain began to cool down inside of me to become something else entirely different.

Now, the only thing that I have left from that day is an aching pain that comes back now and then. When I look at his cat carrier, or see another cat, or even look at his favorite spot to sit in the kitchen, I remember him, and the pain comes crawling back to me...

And now, here I am, waiting for Inuyasha to come and get me. I'm all packed and ready, and I'm just waiting for him, even though I should probably spare myself the strife of being yelled at for being late again. I wait anyway, and I think, in my spare time, about my little Buyo.

I've done some things that I look back on now, seeing that they were kind of foolish to do. I don't know if I regret doing them or not. I'm not sure if they were part of the healing process, or just a silly bid to hold onto what little of Buyo that I still had left...

I was in my room once, pulling a box of pictures out from under my bed, when I spied some white hairs on my floor. I stopped what I was doing immediately and looked at these hairs, wondering if they could possibly be... Buyo's. These hairs were white, with a little brown at the tip of them, just like Buyo used to have. I scooped these hairs up, overwhelmed at the physical things still left behind from my cat. I put these hairs in a bottle and sealed it tightly, putting it on my dresser for safe-keeping.

I look up at my dresser now and look at the little bottle, sitting next to a picture of Buyo sitting there and staring at the camera nearest to my mirror. I never touch these things, except sometimes just to look at the hair and remind myself that Buyo did once exist.

I never really told anyone about the hair, not even Inuyasha. I kept it my own little secret, maybe because I was ashamed that I was doing things like, keeping a dead cats hair, and looking at it from time to time. I just couldn't see everyone thinking that doing something like that was normal, much less Inuyasha, who was always very supportive to me with all the while, but always still walking on eggshells around me when Buyo was concerned.

I wrote songs, and poems, and I even picked out a song that I listened to that described the situation I was in now perfectly. I would put that song on, and sing, and cry, and imagine that I was still with him. I even wrote a couple of letters to Buyo, telling him how sorry I was, and how much I really missed him. I drew pictures of him, made up stories, and found many creative ways to grieve for him in a way that I could hold onto.

But most recently... We were pet sitting a cat that belonged to my aunt. She was such a sweet cat, affectionate and loving, even to people she didn't know. She liked me especially, and would always rub against my legs and come and sit in my lap, purring as I pet her for hours on end. She reminded me of how lonely I had become without Buyo.

I had gotten so used to being without him, that I forgot how soft his fur was, and how warm he was, and how good it felt to have a creature that would never push me away. I had missed that for the nine months I had been without him.

Sometimes, as I was sitting there petting this cat, I would close my eyes and imagine that it was Buyo in my lap again. This cat's fur was softer, and she was not as fat as Buyo once was, but I caught myself believing for just a moment that I WAS actually petting Buyo. But then I would open my eyes and see the real cat looking up at me with cute green eyes, purring and loving me insanely as an animal always does.

"Kagome?" I looked up out of my stupor to see Inuyasha climbing in through my open window.

"Hi Inuyasha." I smiled at him from where I sat.

He moved over to where I sat and sat down next to me, taking a neutral expression while most likely trying to determine why I was late, and if it involved me crying or being upset in any way.

"You're late." He said simply.

"Yeah, I know." I peered out from under my black bangs at him, only to see that he was oh-so-discreetly doing the same thing, analyzing the situation. He blushed as his eyes met mine and looked away, getting that look that he always got when he was wholly uncomfortable.

I smiled and looked away myself, caught up in the warm feeling that I got when I realized that he had been worrying about me.

Inuyasha had been more than accommodating in my time of grief for my cat. He had always been the first to understand why I wasn't feeling so well at a given moment, or why I just didn't feel like celebrating with the others from time to time. He would change completely from the insensitive jerk who I'd once known. He would often leave, and stay, according to my wishes. He would hold me when I was scared or lonely, and comfort me when I was angry at myself for letting Buyo die. He never hesitated when it came to Buyo, and he never asked any questions, or pulled away uncomfortably when I was upset.

"Is it Buyo?" He said quietly, managing to avoid my gaze with expert grace.

I looked up at him and smiled brightly,

It had been nine months, and he still didn't expect me to get over this anytime soon. I was amazed at the change that Buyo had unknowingly wrought in Inuyasha -and maybe even me too-, maybe kind of bringing us up to speed with each other, at least on some smaller level.

"Not so much anymore, Inuyasha." I said quietly, looking down at my feet resting on my pink carpet.

He peered at me once more, probably trying to see if I was crying, or close to crying. I smiled at him and shook my head,

"I'm okay Inuyasha." I said, almost forcefully.

"Are you sure?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah."

We were silent for a moment or two, both look down and around, doing anything to avoid looking each other in the face and saying something that we would regret.

I just realized that I was so grateful to him for caring to understand.

Some people just wouldn't get it when I told them that my cat had died, they didn't understand why that was cause to be so upset so frequently. They probably thought I was wasting my energy on something that theoretically compares nothing to a human life. But, I never understood them either...

All of the time that we had Buyo, I didn't think of him as just a little cat, part of the background and nothing else. I thought of him, as a part of my heart, my love, and my life. Cats and people aren't all that different where love is concerned. I was just so glad that Inuyasha understood that...

"Inuyasha, thanks." I looked up at him with the utmost seriousness in my eyes.

"For what?" He blinked at me and set his mouth in that I-don't-get-you expression.

"You've been here for me when I've needed you to understand, and you didn't get mad or frustrated because I wasn't always up to getting up every morning and hunting for shards. I'm glad that I had you there with me, to help me through all of this." I said, scooting over closer to him and lifting his arm for a hug. He blushed deeply and looked away, letting me do as I wanted with his arm as I placed mine around his middle.

"Don't worry about it." He said roughly, bringing his arms awkwardly to wrap around me as well.

I snuggled into his warmth and closed my eyes, breathing in his musky smell and feeling more at home than I ever had with anyone else, even my little Buyo.

And so, in my head, I prayed a small prayer, not knowing if Buyo would hear me, or if it was even going to go beyond the parameters of my mind. But I prayed with all of my heart, and all of my soul,

'Buyo, I hope you can hear me. I want to tell you that I miss you, and that I still love you, a lot. I pray that wherever you are, if you are anywhere, you are happy, and that you are content where you are. I know that I'll always miss you, and feel your absence always, but I'm beginning to heal, and I hope with all of my heart that you know that too. It's only because of this guy right here...'

I looked up at Inuyasha, who was now looking down at me with one of those rare, beautiful smiles that I get to see from time to time, directed at me.

'...that I'm able to stand. I'll miss you always baby and I'll never forget you, until the day I die.'

I swallowed tentatively and smiled back at him, lifting a timid hand and bringing it to rest on his tanned cheek. He took my hand and held it there hesitantly, obviously not sure if he should even be doing something like that. His fingers twined with mine, and I basked in the warmth of his clawed hand, warmed by his radiant smile.

Maybe I would never find closure, or a way to completely get over losing one of my best friends. Maybe this was one of those things that I would never truly conquer. Maybe it was a thing... Maybe HE was a being that I would never forget...

And for a moment, I remember that I never want all of the pain to go away, simply because to stop feeling the pain that he's gone, would be to forget about him, even all of the good times that I know we both shared. So in a way, I didn't want the closure that I had craved months and months ago.

Not any more...

'Thank you for everything, Kit... I love you and I... Goodbye.' I sighed with the end of my little prayer and smiled contently for the moment, feeling in my heart, deeply and truly, that Buyo had heard me, once more.

And for just a second, that feeling flooded through me, the feeling that I used to feel when he would look up at me and purr at the very sight of me, at the feel of my hand, and the smile on my face.

I felt it... And I _knew _that he heard me too...

(End)

Authors note: Thanks for reading!

I wanted to write an Epilogue to slipped away, because the story really wasn't over when I typed the last few words in the story. I've gone on, and I've been sad, happy, angry and all types of things ever since. I'm at the point now, where I remember my kitty once in a while, and I still get sad when I remember those feelings, and that day.

But a lot of those things have passed in these last nine months without her, and I've grown up a lot, mainly because I've been so lucky to have friends that really understood, much like Inuyasha did in this story.

(Thanks Jessica Kay and Jessica May, you really helped me to get through all of this, I'm grateful that both of you are my best friends!)

If anyone who reads this story wants to tell me their story about their pet, I would be glad to listen. I know how it feels to think that no one gets how you feel about this special part of your life that has suddenly gone away. When I first posted ch.1, I got so many saddened reviews and beautiful stories, I'm so thankful that a lot of you trusted me enough to tell me.

Thank you for reading!

-Zeldagurl


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